I’ve noticed a common underlying theme when I begin coaching someone and they inform me about their life situation.

The individual stories differ, but the fundamental belief beneath the story doesn’t:

“It should be different.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“I’m in the wrong place, doing the wrong things, at the wrong time, because I did something wrong in the past. Now I’m heading towards a wrong future!”

When life doesn’t match our expectations we assume life is the one that made a mistake and our expectations are how it’s really supposed to be.

I’m sure you’ve had the experience of hoping and wishing something would go your way, and later down the road being incredibly grateful that it didn’t happen because something even better came along or you learned a really valuable lesson.

Individual challenges do feel painful in the moment, but the excruciating suffering is caused by our the resistance towards them. By the thought “This shouldn’t be happening to me.”

How can you be so sure you’re offcourse? How accurate have you been about that in the past? How do you know this situation isn’t the perfect set-up for an incredible situation down the road? How do you know that you won’t teach anyone the valuable lessons you learn from the challenges you are facing now?

Maybe your current situation sucks and is absolutely dreadful. In and of itself it may be a bad situation to be in, but you can’t say for sure that it won’t have an overall good effect on your life or the world.

When you approach life with a mindset that your challenges are a set-up for something amazing, it encourages you to go out and look for the amazing thing you are being set up for.

In fact, maybe what is happening right now is exactly what should be happening. Maybe this is exactly the opportunity you’ve been waiting for and you can’t even recognize it!

Open your mind, and you might find something even better than your original expectations that you had your heart set on.

Maybe you’re in the right place, at the right time.

Amber Grubenmann

Amber Grubenmann

Amber is a dating coach based in Santa Barbara, California. She’s passionate about helping nerdy guys find the love they deserve.

She is currently working at the Center for Social Confidence as a writer and dating confidence coach.
Amber Grubenmann

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