Let’s say you connected with a woman one day and you got her number. (Score!)

You wouldn’t want to come off too needy by texting her immediately after. You also wouldn’t want to wait too long or else she’ll forget about you. And when you do start texting you definitely should wait 25 minutes before sending a text back otherwise she will think you have no life. Before you know it you are overthinking the entire situation and creating the exact situation you were trying to avoid in the first place!

Here’s the truth: if you are generally busy with life, have things going on in your career, relationships and hobbies, you will never text too much or too soon. You won’t have to play any pretend waiting games to make sure you don’t come across as needy because you are actually not needy.

It’s nice to give a day of space after having a great connection with someone so that they have an opportunity to wonder about you, think about you, talk to their friends about you, or maybe even miss you. The balance of space and contact comes naturally when you are involved in life. It also varies from couple to couple depending on what each person’s expectations and needs are. If things do develop between you two you will have to feel it out and communicate about how much you want to communicate. So it’s impossible create a rule that applies to every situation. 

If you do decide to call her keep it short and sweet, 5 minutes or so, and take full charge of the phone call by either telling her about something or asking her specific or interesting questions so that it won’t be awkward. If you call and just say “what’s up” you’ll have placed a burden on her shoulders in the sense that she now has to unexpectedly think of something to entertain you.

You could tell her about something that happened to you that day, or ask her a question you had been thinking about that day.

Being happy and fulfilled as a single person isn’t just cliche advice you read on the internet. It’s the actual foundation of attracting others. Invest in your life simultaneously as you are meeting and attracting women and you will find that the meeting and attracting becomes much easier. 

 

Amber Grubenmann

Amber Grubenmann

Amber is a dating coach based in Santa Barbara, California. She’s passionate about helping nerdy guys find the love they deserve.

She is currently working at the Center for Social Confidence as a writer and dating confidence coach.
Amber Grubenmann

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